I see my future and it looks daunting!

Christmas came and went and Garrett was amazingly well behaved and flexible with the schedule changes, people, and parties.  The very next day it was like a whole different child awoke, demanding to watch "Peep" or "Bears" or "Whales" and screaming when the answer was no and not able to be distracted by books.  I don't think we've read 3 books since Christmas!  That's just crazy!  Have I spoiled him with the few DVD's I've decided to let him watch from time to time?  They are just music and animal footage.  And then there's "Peep" which has captivated him and seems worthwhile, but really I'd rather not be watching TV at all.  I gave in a while back when I just needed to get the dishes done without having my pant legs tugged at every 2 minutes.  Now he asks for these videos several times a day.  The new rule is 1 a day, so I have to tell him no a lot!  I thought maybe he was just tired out after all the late nights, but even 4 days out we're still having some issues with fits of screaming and crying when he doesn't get what he wants and its very hard to distract him with the usual favorites like coloring and books.  Today, just before 10 am we had already eaten breakfast, watched "Peep", colored, played with play dough, and finger painted and every time an activity ended there was screaming involved!  It is taking some serious energy to entertain Garrett right now.  I think I'm going to have to get some tricks up my sleeve, maybe some crafty stuff, and polish up on my delivering of consequences with empathy.  Wish me luck, write in with ideas for fun indoor activities to keep Garrett entertained, and check back to see how things are going.

Success!

Here are a couple of our behavioral success stories as of late:

1. I was brushing my teeth and Garrett wandered into the bathroom and out of the corner of my eye I saw him start to unroll the toilet paper.  I guess I've always figured that if I didn't stop him right away he'd just unroll the whole thing so normally I would have stopped him BUT I didn't this time.  I watched him as he tore off about 2 or 3 feet, then tore it into bits and threw it around.  When I had finished brushing my teeth I told him it was time to clean up and to put all the paper in the trash.  He did it!  I was so impressed, he got lots of praise for that one!  Actually he's been good about doing things I ask him to do recently.  Putting his train tracks in the tub, picking up toys and books, putting an ornament back on the tree (well it doesn't get hung back up, but at least he puts it near the tree), putting something back that he shouldn't play with, being gentle with something, etc.  It's all about giving him the benefit of the doubt and believing that he will comply and when he doesn't being calm and firm about how I deal with him.  I'll just remove him from the situation and calmly explain why and redirect him.  When he throws a fit it usually means he's tired or needs a change of scenery all together!  I rarely find his frustration or complaints totally unreasonable and so they are easy to deal with even when the answer is no.
2. Counting to 10.  So I saw a friend do this while nursing her older child (she's co-nursing her two year old and her 6 month old children).  She told him, when I count to 10 it'll be time to be done nursing, and when she got to 10 he came right off.  I decided to try this with Garrett during activities that were about to end like coloring and play dough, bath time, sink play time, rice tub, etc.  It is amazing how this works!  I've tried it enough without giving warning to know that when I give him the count of 10, he is much more willing to be done with the activity.  I will say, "Garrett, when I count to 10 it'll be time to get out of the bath.  1, 2, 3... 10."  And when I get to 10 he stands up, puts his arms out for me to pick him up and he happily gets out of the bath as opposed to me saying, "Okay its time to get out." which usually results in a scream of "NO!"  He has even counted along a few times!

In other news, Garrett has several two and three word sentences now including two I statements!  Here are his latest:

• "Mama boots (shoes)" - pointing to my boots or shoes in the hall.
• "Dada boots (shoes)" - pointing to Matt's boots or shoes in the hall.
• "No teeth" and "No bite" - as I pretend to nibble his toes while we nurse.
• "Garrett climbs" - although he pronounces just the first part of Garrett and kind of "swallows" the rest of the word.  Climbs is more like "kimes".
• " Read a book" - with emphasis on a very hard throatal "K" at the end.
• "Dark outside" - referring to our walk to get our tree last Friday when it was dark, pronounced "dar ou sigh".
• "I sorry" - at least we think he said it.
• "I scared" - in reference to sitting on Santa's lap at a Christmas party, he pronounces scared without the s and Santa "Sasa".

I'm sure there are more that I just don't understand, he is a little chatter box recently.

Other cute stuff:
Also, he has been hugging everything that he likes.  I think this is an appropriate way to show his affection for objects, although a bit awkward sometimes!  He hugged his play dough the other day and not just the container the play dough comes in, the actual blob of play dough.  He hugged it and said, "ah", which is common when he hugs something.
Another new way of interacting with things is to wave at them.  He walked up to my parents tree and waved at one of the Santa ornaments, even though he claims to be "cared" of "Sasa".  He waves and says "bye bye" to the car when we get out of it.

I Heart Garrett!!!

I started this blog just after Garrett turned one and was being a little pill.  He had this attitude and he was hitting me and biting me and I was having a hard time dealing with it in a way that I felt a good parent should.  The way he was acting hurt my feelings and exhausted me and I needed help!  Love and Logic helped and this blog gave me the sense of being accountable.  I'm sure there will come a time when I need this again but right now everything seems wonderful in the world of parenting my little angel Garrett!  Now I've jinxed him, I'm going to wake up tomorrow with a holy terror of a one and a half year old.  If I do, I'm sure I'll be back to blogging more frequently, but if I don't maybe I'll just get on my blog and brag about my wonderful little guy every now and then!
Now I'm not saying that he doesn't have the occasional tantrum or scream about being changed or even cop an attitude.  He does all of these things from time to time and I've had to give time outs and I've even lost my temper a few times, enough to tempt me to get back on track with the reading and blogging.  In fact I picked up the book the other day after I had completely forgotten how to use empathy when delivering consequences and had given Garrett a little smack on the bum and put him in his crib (can't put him just in his room anymore cause he climbs the changing table like a little monkey!)  After the bum smacking I gave him he full on smacked me back right across the face and boy did that get me thinking!  I don't really believe in spanking in the first place and so after the few occasions that I have "spanked" Garrett (I'm not actually sure that what I have done would really be considered a spanking, they are the kind that my husband tells me that when kids get older they pretend that it hurts) I feel terrible.  This time in particular really solidified it for me, spanking is only going to teach a child that hitting is okay to do when you're mad at someone.  Anyway, my point is that I have continued to have the occasional moment of complete frustration in Garrett's behavior and I know I need to keep reminding myself of a more appropriate way for dealing with it, BUT, fortunately I don't have many opportunities to practice giving consequences or dealing with a problem without losing my temper.  Recently Garrett has been such a sweet little boy.

One reason for his improved behavior and demeanor is that I think he's just so delighted to be learning and communicating more effectively.  Today he said "dog" then followed it with the sign for "eat" and "cookie".  He did this a couple times as I looked at him inquisitively and when I got it and said, "Oh! Are you saying that the dog ate the cookie?"  he squealed, "YEAH!"  He got this from a book we checked out from the library the other day in which the dog eats the boys cookie.  He knew the sign for eat, and he says the word dog a lot, but this was the first time he had used the sign for cookie!
I know he's hearing the things I tell him about how to behave nicely because now he's starting to repeat them as well has adhere to them!  When we're nursing sometimes he likes to stick his foot near my mouth and I will pretend to nibble his toes.  He'll come off the breast for a moment, look at me seriously and say, "no teeth" or "no biting".  This makes my heart soar, I actually taught him something!
The best behavior development though is that he has stopped biting and hitting and grabbing me.  Before when he felt overly excited or worked up, or angry about something he would frequently bite, hit, or grab me.  Now not only has that behavior stopped but instead when he seems to have those same intense flood of emotions, even when he seems angry, he gives me the best bear hug ever!  He even gives a little grunt while he's hugging, like he's trying really hard to give a good hard hug.  Its the best!
Here I am getting a hug after I returned from a trip in October:

Other developments that have made this time in our lives together so amazing:

• Garrett is learning so many new words and is starting to put two words together.  
• He's starting to use his imagination more in his play (I spied on him playing with his dog and lion and watched as he made them kiss and then sit and talked to them.)  
• He is a great sleeper most of the time sleeping through the night from 8-6 or more.  He's a good napper too!  He has started to put himself to sleep after nursing but not falling asleep he'll lie in his crib and chat with his animals as he falls asleep, it is so fun to listen to him on the monitor!  
• He has been doing a lot of singing recently, his favorite seems to be Baby Beluga.  
• Garrett is relaxed about me leaving him with childcare or with a babysitter and excited when I come back to get him and comes bolting across the room yelling, "Mom!  Mom!"
• He can color and use play dough for much longer periods of time without putting the supplies in his mouth or throwing them.  Every time we get the supplies out, he lasts a little bit longer.
• He cleans up the food he doesn't want to eat and puts it on the plate or bowl and hands it to me telling me "all done" instead of throwing it on the floor.
• He loves to hug the people he loves AND the stuffed animals he loves.

Here's Garrett hugging his teddy bear:

Here's Garrett coloring a whale (that's what he's been drawing recently):

So now that things are going so well for us (most of the time) its hard to blog about discipline and such.  Its just more fun to focus on other things like being crafty and going to play dates.  My priorities may shift if things become a struggle again, which they more than likely will, at some point, in which case I will get back on the blogging wagon.  I guess that is a parenting lesson I've learned that is hard to remember in the heat of the moment, but everything is a stage and it helps to remind yourself of that during the particularly difficult stages.  Until then, maybe I'll post heart warming anecdotes about my little sweetie!