Sunday, January 16, 2011

Forging My Own Path

I haven't been very dedicated to this blog lately or my Love and Logic book for that matter.  I think the reason lies in my tendency to need time, help, advice, and support, to get used to new things but once I start learning and getting better at that new thing I begin to feel more comfortable and start branching out on my own.  This new thing called parenting that I'm learning all about is obviously going to be developing for my whole life, but I feel like at least in the area of discipline I'm beginning to find my own path.  There are days when I realize I'm a little lost and I have to turn around and find the right path.   The path takes turns and have its bumps but I've put my map in my pocket and I'm having an adventure finding my own way.  I still have the map close by in case of any extra tricky terrain I come across.
One of my newest discoveries in parenting with my own love and logic is the use of time out.  I'm sure for most of you more experienced parents this is no big surprise.  Recently Garrett has taken to having little fits when things don't go his way, yes I know, another big surprise for all you parenting experts!  When this happens I can't help but feel a little disappointed for him.  I mean even adults get upset when things don't go the way they want except they usually know how to handle the disappointment without screaming and yelling (although not always!)  I want to give Garrett the option of crying or yelling or screaming and getting it out of his system and calming down but I also don't really want his fits to happen in the living room where he demands my attention and interaction.  So I ask him if he wants to go have his fit in his crib (and yes I know that I shouldn't give him time out in his crib because of the negative association but its the only safe place for him in our house since he's taken to climbing his changing table in his room!)  When I ask him this, he usually shakes his head, "no" and then stops screaming and we move on, but sometimes he doesn't and that's when I take him to his crib, trying to do so in a matter of fact way, saying, "when you are done with your fit, you can come out".  I change the environment in his crib by removing the cozy stuff like blankets, pillows, and animals.  I figure this way when those items are present he'll feel like its a nice place to be and won't have the negative association.  So this is how time out works for us in our house.  So far... I still don't know how to do this when he has a fit in the grocery store, at my parents house, or when we take the crib down.  I will now consult one of my many maps, YOU!   Any suggestions?
In other Garrett news:
I can no longer keep track of his new words and phrases which have grown from 2 to 3 words "sentences".  It actually no longer surprises me when I hear a new word, sometimes I don't even notice them, except the more recent new word which I'm pretty sure he picked up during a particularly abysmal Notre Dame game, or maybe its just because he's a little thug (see picture below!)  Yup, that's right just the other day he started running around exclaiming the f-word!  So far our reaction has been trying desperately to cover up our hysterical laughing, realizing that reacting will probably just encourage him.  I have a feeling time out won't work with this one.  So again, any suggestions?

1 comment:

  1. Hey Paige,

    I've enjoyed reading your blog. Our kids are growing so fast!

    About a month ago, Bella picked up a certain phrase from Stephen and she repeated it several times in front of a group strangers in the Fred Meyer parking lot. I couldn't help but laugh. Since the first incident she has used the phrase when frustrated a few times. We've tried to explain to her that the phrase is "bad" and she should not use that sort of language, but this only seemed to egg her on. We then tried replacing the phrase with "darn it". This approach has worked so far...

    Bella has a time out step for when she disobeys. We mostly use it when she acts out physically, biting, pulling hair, hitting, throwing toys, etc... First we'll give her a warning and if she repeats the offense, it's off to the time out step to think about what she has done. We let her think about it for 30 sec - 1 min, talk to her about the offense and why it was bad, then ask her to apologize (say sorry) and end it with kiss and a hug. It seems to work fairly well. At daycare they have a "thinking chair" that the kids sit. It seems to work too.

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