Am I really cut out for this?

WOW!  Things have been rough with Garrett's behavior recently.  Here is a rundown of how things have been for us these days in the McGuan household.  I'm sure to the seasoned parent these seem like totally normal behaviors but in the moment dealing with them is all consuming and exhausting.  It's hard to remember that they are normal when they irk you so!

• There's the kicking and squirming when I'm trying to change his diaper.  This is one of our number one struggles and it doesn't seem like much but it seriously gets to me.  It's like I'm trying to take care of him with love and kindness but he won't let me.  I tried bribery and it only worked for a couple days, now he just gets mad when I won't give him a treat after because he kicked me or something.
• There's the laughing at me and continuing the infuriating behavior when I'm infuriated with him and trying my hardest not to let it show.  Again this frequently happens during diaper changes and results in me clenching my teeth and pinning Garrett to the floor with my legs while I wipe and change with my hands and then he starts screaming.
• There's the general devilish attitude that sets in when he's tired (although it seems like all the time these days).
• There's the spitting or spraying.  Just disgusting, I can't handle it.  It happens mostly at meals.  Sometimes he doesn't like something and I can understand that, but then it turns into a full on game, spraying his milk or water all over, blowing bubbles in it, etc.  He's promptly dismissed to time out on these occasions.  Other times it happens when he's just being defiant and he'll spray right in my face.  Oh, that is blood boiling for sure!  And away to time out he goes.
• There's the running away laughing hysterically which can sometime be really cute but sometimes be exactly the opposite.  This always happens when I need to change his diaper.  
• There's the running after Lily smacking at her game.
• There's the screaming at (and just today hitting of) friends who want to play with "his" toy or share "his" snack.  
• And there's the hitting and clawing Mommy when I've sentenced him to time out in his crib.

We don't seem to have many full out tantrums really or really even many displays of downright anger but the "smaller" behaviors really add up and they frequently feel like they are solely for the benefit of frustrating ME and I feel like I'm about to boil over.  I take that back, sometimes I DO boil over.  In my heart I know what I should do, but in the moment I can never think of the right constructive way to deal with Garrett's behavior.  And yes, I have smacked him a few times on the bum.  I hate myself for it.  In these times I wonder:

• Where can I muster up the patience to deal with this constructively?
• Does my Love and Logic book seriously suggest I should pick him up calmly, tell him I love him but his behavior is not acceptable and calmly set him in time out?  Screw them!!!!
• Is this really normal behavior?
• Is it time to get serious about potty training so I don't have to deal with the struggle of diaper changes?
• Am I not paying enough attention to him?  Is that what causes these attention getting behaviors?
• Maybe I'm not really cut out to be a mom...too late!
• How do other SAHM's do it without going crazy?
• I just have one child, how do you do it with more?
• Why are we trying to have another?
• When we have another I'll have a sweet little baby again!

I guess its back to the books for another refresher course.  Now I have a couple new ones:

• The Emotional Life of the Toddler
• The Happiest Toddler on the Block